Well, this is embarrassing…

There you are, reading this on your mobile device from the comfort of your favorite porcelain reading chair and I’m off somewhere busy with comedy stuff (slowly dying of anxiety) and making things happen! (struggling with a Monday NY Times crossword puzzle).

 

If I’ve personally directed you here, you probably creeped me out after a show, or at the gas station, or on a plane, or in some other place where I was unable to escape without making a scene.  In that case, I’m sorry to have to tell you like this, but its something that you should be aware of and hey, at least you’re saving yourself from further embarrassment by reading this alone by the glow of a solitary light bulb in a dusty room in your home/rape den/mom’s basement.

 

If you’re a “Hollywood” person, shalom! Did I tell you about my recent-ish trip to Israel? No, I’m not technically Jewish, but let’s just forget about that. Okay, enough about you now! I’m currently working on ALL OF THE PROJECTS. It’s really fulfilling and I’m so lucky/inspired/incredibly exhausted. My last show was the best one yet, so sorry you missed it. I have another one coming up soon, obviously, but I’m unsure of myself working on new stuff so lets just get lunch instead, on you!

*Friend list available upon request

 

If you are another comic who’s just checking out the competition, rest assured that everything I put out that’s hilarious has been written by a man and any success I have (zero) has been handed to me undeservedly by men who are trying to sleep with me!

 

If you are a family member, my sincere apologies for not being Bob Hope or Larry the Cable Guy or _______. (I left that blank because I secretly find it super helpful when you let me know of your outrageous expectations of who I should be more like) Yes, I heard about that one comedian with the thing. And no, I’m not coming back for Christmas.

 

If you are here because you enjoy my work, hooray! I have upcoming shows posted under the “Live!” tab (above, right-ish). Some shows are stand up and some are storytelling. I am a truly unpredictable mess artist. I’m also working on (thinking about) getting some sort of mailing list together, but in the interim you can follow me on twitter @lisa_curry and harass me via @ reply until I block you.